Christmas is fast approaching and Santa will have been keeping a close eye on the football world to see who’s been naughty and who’s been nice so far this season across Europe. Most European leagues are nearing the halfway stage so Father Christmas will have had plenty of time to decide who’s getting a brand new PS3, and who’ll be waking up on December 25th to find an empty stocking.
NICE
FC Barcelona
The stand out team so far this season. Santa’s been very impressed with their beautiful passing and dribbling, but also with their grit and determination. Of course there’s nothing Santa could give them that would trump their 5-0 demolition of Real Madrid, but one of Messi, Xavi and Iniesta will be getting something extra this year, the Ballon D’Or. It says something about Barça’s niceness this year that all three are being considered for the award.
The Surprises
Football isn’t just about the flashy superstars; it’s also about the little guys that try hard. The first half of the season has seen many newly promoted teams make big impacts in Europe’s major leagues. Brest, Hercules and Blackpool have all shocked the French, Spanish and English leagues respectively. Brest’s solid spine, Hercules’ big name performers and Blackpool’s stylish football have all impressed observers in Lapland. Most football fans expected it to be a miserable Christmas for these three small clubs, but all have been brave and positive and have beaten some of European football’s biggest names this season. All are in line for a special treat as a reward for their fearless approaches to the big time.
Young Managers
Sir Alex Ferguson’s nearly as old as Christmas itself, and his Manchester United team currently top the English Premier League. But look at the other major European league leaders. In Serie A Massimiliano Allegri’s (43 years old) AC Milan are leading the way. In Germany 43 year old Jürgen Klopp has steered Borussia Dortmund to the top of the Bundesliga. André Villas Boas, the head coach of Portuguese table-toppers FC Porto is only 33 years old. Barcelona’s Pep Guardiola is only 39. Lille’s Rudi Garcia is only 46 years old, and PSV’s Fred Rutten is 48. This means all of Western Europe’s major league leaders apart from the English Premier League are managed by under-50s. That’s right; nearly half way through the season and not a single manager over 50 is top of La Liga, Ligue 1, Serie A, the Bundesliga, Primeira Divisao or the Erdivisie. These youngsters have been showing the oldies a thing or two, and have worked themselves onto Santa’s nice list.
Gareth Bale
The young Welshman’s been the star of the Champions’ League so far this season. His quick feet, accurate crossing and speedy runs have all helped draw the attentions of some of Europe’s biggest clubs. His hat-trick against European Champions Inter was spectacular, and got many pundits suggesting that Bale might be the World’s best left-sided midfielder. But Santa doesn’t just watch the Champions’ League and he’s seen Bale match his European exploits with solid shows for Spurs in the Premier League. Bale will definitely be having a merry Christmas, and though he’s pledged his future to Spurs there’s little doubt he’ll find his name on many top clubs’ Christmas lists this year.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
The big Swede’s not everybody’s favourite; he’s certainly not my favourite. Too often in the past he’s failed to turn up for the big occasions and his dreadful spell in Spain was confirmation for many that he’s a lazy, overrated dope that goes missing against the world’s top defenders. As if Ibra couldn’t make himself more unlikeable he returned to Italy, joining former side Inter’s arch-rivals, AC Milan. He instantly became the most unpopular man in Milan and at this point Santa was getting ready to scribble his name onto the naughty list. But after a tricky start to the season Ibrahimovic has settled in well in his favourite league. Scoring the winner against his former employers in the Milan derby instantly endeared him to the rossoneri fans. Ibrahimovic has re-established himself after his nightmare in the Catalan capital, scoring nine Serie A goals so far this season. Santa will appreciate his higher work rate and desire to remind people of what he’s like at his best.
NAUGHTY
Rafael Benitez
When the lovable Spaniard arrived at the San Siro in the summer his new Inter side had just won the treble for the first time in their history. The charismatic José Mourinho was a tough act to follow, but things looked good for Benitez after he succeeded in keeping Wesley Snijder and Samuel Eto’o at the club. Benitez was given a tough baptism as Inter boss, losing 2-0 in Monte Carlo to Atletico in the European Super Cup. Following the disappointment in Monaco his Inter were held to a shock 0-0 draw on the opening day of the Serie A season by Bologna. Benitez has found it tough adapting to life in Serie A. Defeat against local rivals AC Milan triggered mass criticism of Benitez, and fall-outs with star player Sneijder have painted an ugly portrait for many supporters. Qualification for the next round of the Champions’ League has been a saving grace for Rafa, though Inter still only won half their games in the group stage, losing 4-0 on the final day to Werder Bremen. Inter now sit 7th in Serie A, form that sees Benitez added to Santa’s naughty list.
Luis Suarez
We should have seen it coming after his dastardly hand-ball in the quarter finals of the World Cup against Ghana. Last year Suarez scored 35 goals for Ajax in the Erdivisie, but so far this season he’s only managed 7. Lack of goals is a problem, but that’s not the only reason the Uruguayan striker will find himself on Santa’s naughty list this year. In a match against PSV Eindhoven Suarez was caught on camera biting opponent Otman Bakkal on the shoulder behind the referee’s back. His attempt at cannibalism saw him handed a huge seven match ban. During his ban Suarez decided to do a little bit of stirring and hinted that he was on his way out of Ajax. Suarez’s name is printed in permanent ink on Santa’s naughty list for Christmas 2010, but rumour has it he’s considering creating a “Very Naughty” list specifically for Suarez. He can expect an empty stocking on Christmas morning.
The Underachievers
We’ve already discussed Inter’s disappointing start to the season, but they’re not the only big club underperforming. Liverpool have had a terrible start to life under Roy Hodgson, finding themselves in the relegation zone in October. Since then they’ve managed to climb to 9th but have still only won once away in the league this season. They also lost to Blackpool at Anfield and have been less than spectacular in the Europa League. The Bundesliga is full of underachievers. Bayern Munich are 6th, 18 points behind leaders Borussia Dortmund. Schalke are 10th despite the arrivals of Raul and Juarado, Werder Bremen are 12th and Stuttgart are in the relegation zone! Monaco are Ligue 1’s big underachievers, only outside the relegation zone on goal-difference after a start to the season that’s seen them score just 15 goals in 17 games. Inter aren’t the only side underachieving in Serie A, Fiorentina are 13th. The Viola have only collected 19 points out of a possible 48 so far. Sporting Braga were runners up in Portugal last season, but have found the going tough this season; they sit 8th in the table. Feyenoord are the big underachievers in the Erdivisie. The Netherlands’ second biggest club are 13th and were humiliated 10-1 by PSV earlier in the season. All of the above have shamed the good names of their clubs and let the fans down. Therefore they all find themselves on Santa’s naughty list.
FIFA
The bad behaviour never seems to stop with this lot. Santa isn’t likely to concentrate on the two World Cup decisions as both Russia and Qatar had exciting bids. It’s unknown whether or not there was any corruption surrounding the vote on the World Cups in 2018 or 2022. Santa will concentrate on the constant stench of foul-play that wafts from FIFA HQ by the shores of Lake Geneva. Exterior investigations proved that two FIFA representatives were ready to accept payments in exchange for votes. BBC Panorama’s investigations have also proved not only that corruption is rife in FIFA’s top ranks, but that the organisation chooses to ignore the issue. Corruption at all levels stains the sport, but when the biggest decision-makers in football are guilty, it makes a mockery of the world game. The corruption alone is enough to place FIFA on the naughty list, but the dismissive attitude of Sepp Blatter on pressing issues is something that worries us all. Recently he joked that gay fans should refrain from sexual activity, in response to a question on Qatar’s ban on homosexuality. This is one of many disgraceful comments made by Blatter during his controversial time as head of FIFA that has been brushed away by football’s governing body. No questions when it comes to this one, FIFA are on the naughty list.
Wayne Rooney
Here’s a familiar name on Santa’s list. After a shocking World Cup Rooney has been nothing but trouble. Early in September off-field issues put his relationship with wife Colleen in peril. He was reported to have slept with a prostitute (again) whilst Colleen was pregnant. This seemed to have had a detrimental effect on his football. For most of the season Rooney has looked off the pace and distracted. His lack of focus on football was reflected when he put in a transfer request at Manchester United. Two days later he changed his mind on quitting the club when they offered to double his wages to an astounding £250,000 a week. Santa’s not a fan of greed at the best of times, but when said greed is so outrageous it tends to leave Santa reaching for his naughty list. Since the sour incident Rooney has failed to improve his on-field performances and the England striker’s yet to score from open play for his club this season. Rooney’s been a very naughty boy indeed.
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